


The Hat-Stopper

by WriterofBagend



Category: The Hobbit
Genre: First Year Students, Gen, Gryffindor!Dwalin, Hat-Stopper!Bilbo, Hogwarts AU, Ickle Firsties, Slytherin!Thorin, hp universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 11:39:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5047123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterofBagend/pseuds/WriterofBagend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo Took could feel his stomach turn as the little row boat paddling itself tilted slightly, the black waters of Hogwarts's rippling underneath. He was no doubt turning green in front of everyone, and he focused on taking deep breaths to stop himself from being sick. Bofur Thurman, the chatty Irish boy he had met on the train, didn't seem to mind him leaning over the side of the boat. He just kept on talking about what his cousin had told him was the rite of passage in Hogwarts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hat-Stopper

**Author's Note:**

> This is apart of my five fanfic challenge for my 500 followers mark! You can check it out on my blog, writer-of-bagend, since it is tagged as nwalin (one of the ships I'm doing). Slots are still open, so shoot me a message! 
> 
> This is a day late, but enjoy :)

Bilbo Took could feel his stomach turn as the little row boat paddling itself tilted slightly, the black waters of Hogwarts's rippling underneath. He was no doubt turning green in front of everyone, and he focused on taking deep breaths to stop himself from being sick. Bofur Thurman, the chatty Irish boy he had met on the train, didn't seem to mind him leaning over the side of the boat. He just kept on talking about what his cousin had told him was the rite of passage in Hogwarts. 

"I heard you have to fight the giant squid in the lake!" he exclaimed enthusiastically. Nearby first years squirmed in their seats, looking at the water with dread. "But my cousin Bifur says that that's a load of baloney, and we have to fight a dragon instead!"

"Everyone duck!" boomed the voice of the groundskeeper, Beorn. Several first years squealed and ducked their heads in fright as the ceiling of a dripping cave loomed overhead, its slimy black walls glistening with the blue reflections of the lake. Bilbo would have been mesmerized if he hadn't nearly lost his lunch. "Nobody fell out, did they?"

The first years on his boat looked at each other, eyebrows raised, and shook their heads at Beorn. The burly man furrowed his bushy black eyebrows, scratching his thick and tangled beard. "Good, good. Last year that Durin fell right overboard and his friend had to jump in after him. Scared straight that the mermaids would eat 'em." He gave a bark of laughter and only Bofur joined in, albeit hesitantly. 

"Oh, that's just _lovely_ , isn't it?" a snide voice muttered, the auburn haired student next to Bilbo. Their uniform was of a girl's, though their hair was cropped short and in fluffy waves. Nori Reese, Bilbo believed they were called. "I can't wait until I fall in and get suctioned to death by the bloody giant _squid_. Just a regular ol' Thursday, eh?"

Bofur snorted and began making suction noises with his mouth and palm until Beorn shot them a look, his scars rippling across his dark skin. "The animals at Hogwarts are perfectly safe. Unless they're in the Forbidden Forest, of course. I deal with those. You won't have to worry about them... perhaps."

Bilbo gulped with fear and felt a handkerchief being stuffed in his face, along with a gruff reminder from Beorn to clean himself up. He splashed water on his face and mouth, wiping his face and only feeling the roll of nausea in his stomach once more as he stared at the silhouetted outline of Hogwarts. Lanterns danced in the night sky, their orbs of light reflecting off of the brown pools of his eyes. Hogwarts was even bigger than he had expected, their spirals and towers looking as if they had come straight out of a fairy tale. 

"Welcome to Hogwarts," said Beorn as the boat was docked at the shore. 

The others followed and students unsteadily were helped out of their rowboats, Bilbo landing flat on his stomach. The gravel bit into his hands and he found himself be hoisted up by a short girl with a squared jaw and thick brown hair flying in every direction. She had a gap between her teeth, her nose stern and proud. 

"I'm Dis. Dis Durin, at your service." She bowed low to the ground and Bilbo resisted jumping in surprise, sending a curious glance to Bofur and Nori who both mouthed out " _bow_ ". So he did so, though it wasn't nearly as fancy as Dis's. 

"Bilbo Took, at- at yours," he said, trying not to stammer and failing. Dis only smiled encouragingly at him. 

"First years, first years, gather 'round!" Beorn's voice pierced the nervous quiet of the anxious students. He held a bright lantern in his huge hand, his form towering over the practically minescule ones of the first years. The golden light spilled onto his dark hair and wool coat. "We're about to enter Hogwarts where Lord Elrond will guide you towards the Sorting. I suggest you all fix yourselves up. Get ready to make a good impression and all. Make it quick, mind you. I hear they're having honey and cream for dessert tonight." 

"That man is obsessed with honey," whispered Dis into Bilbo's ear. "That's what my older brother says. He has these huge pastures of bees that produce the honey the house elves use in the kitchens. I hear it's pretty good."

Bilbo listened to Dis babble on, shortly joined by Bofur who seemed to have met his soulmate in the excitable girl, and followed a slouching Nori into the entrance. He let out the deep breath he was holding and tried to focus on the smiling faces of his parents when they found out how his first day went. Not the disappointed, sullen looks he would receive if he was kicked out for the same reason his father was... 

 

* * * 

 

The entrance hall was even bigger than Bag End. Its stone walls glowed with the golden light of its torches, the pillars made of sleek marble and the ceilings so high they were black masses unseeable to Bilbo's eyes. He adjusted his round glasses, almost hesitant to put his feet on the beautiful marble staircase. He heard a voice clear its throat and looked up to see a tall, willowy man with deep brown eyes and dark hair. 

Bilbo felt a shiver run down his spine and looked away from the knowing pair of eyes, staring at his scuffed dress shoes. Beorn padded after the first years, all of them rooted with trepidation and staring at the man with terrified eyes. 

"Ah, Professor Elrond. Good to see you," Beorn said pleasantly, nodding respectfully. 

Elrond bowed curtly, gaze passing over each and every first year. "It is good to see all of your new faces, along with an old one." His eyes sparkled humoredly at Beorn who waved his hand nonchalantly. "I am Professor Elrond. I'll be showing you into the Main Hall. Follow me, if you will." 

The first years followed Professor Elrond past two large doors, hundreds of voices humming with chatter behind its solid wood, and into a smaller chamber off the hall. They all crowded in, the tension thick in the air until the door clicked shut behind them. 

"You will be welcomed to Hogwarts officially once the sorting ceremony begins," he explained. All first years are sorted into our four separate houses at the start of the year. These houses have separate living quarters where students in said house will reside. There are your shared bedrooms, common rooms for studying and relaxation, and classes you share with the rest of the students in your year. 

"The four houses are Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin, and Ravenclaw. Each house has produced hundreds of important witches and wizards over the years, and each has its own merits. There is no good house, just as there is no bad house." He looked sternly at the students. "No house should be judged at the actions of its students. 

"While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will reward you house points. Similarly, your disobedience will result in the loss of your house points. The house with the most points if rewarded House Cup at the end of the year. I wish luck to all of you. May you win many points for your house." 

There were a few scattered claps, most by Bilbo, that stopped quickly once they realized this was a clapping-at-the-end sort of speech (again, Bilbo). There was a hint of a smile on Elrond's stern face. His constellation patterned purple robes swished soundless across the floor as he led them into the Main Hall.

"My brothers told me that the ceiling is enchanted to look like the sky!" whispered Dis excitedly, jolting Bilbo from his dream-like stupor.

Yes, the ceiling was impressive with its dark depths and swirling silver stars, but it was a minor factor compared with the rest of the Main Hall. There were four long tables, each with a different crest, and one horizontal table where what he assumed were teachers sat. Oh, and the people. Why were there so many?

He could feel the pumpkin pasties left over from his lunch churn in his stomach. Nori nudged his shoulder and looked at Bofur, remarking calmly, "I think he might throw up again. You okay, Bilbo?"

He just mutely shook his head until the nausea passed. "I don't like it when so many people's eyes are on me."

Bofur, Dis, and Nori looked at him with guilt, as if it was their fault he didn't know how many students there were at Hogwarts. "It'll be fine," Dis said. "Thorin says the sorting isn't long and that what Frerin says about fighting some monsters is a load of bollocks. Hogwarts is fun, really. They're even celebrating non-Christian holidays now! Isn't that great?"

Bilbo wasn't sure what to say since his mother was Catholic and had nearly called an exorcist once she saw Bungo performing the slightest, weakest bit of magic. "Yes, that's nice."

Dis puffed out her chest proudly. "My dad went to go see Headmistress Galadriel about it! Said it wasn't fair. So now, we celebrate Hanukkah and such here. Plus Ramadan for the Muslim students! Though I heard the house elves nearly fainted when they wouldn't eat. There was a big thing about the elves thinking they didn't like the food-"

Dis began to tell him more about the holidays, including her presents she got last year, but Bilbo was too busy staring at a raggedy brown hat on a stool. The Main Hall was still chattering and buzzing, but silenced instantly as a woman in white robes stepped up to the main podium. All of the first years gasped upon seeing Headmistress Galadriel. 

Dis stopped talking. Nori's jaw dropped. Bofur hat dropped and covered his eyes. Bilbo's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. 

The woman was very, very beautiful. Her hair was in dark curls, her skin like dark bronze and her features an elegantly curved structure. She was mixed race, he realized, and he couldn't help but feel a spurt of happiness. She was like him. And she wasn't secluded because of her skin color, right? His mother had said something about old wizard prejudice. Had it been ethnicity, then? 

"Welcome students returning from their summer breaks," said Galadriel in a calm, flowing voice, "And students new to our school." She looked to the first years down her hooked nose, and Bilbo shivered as her brown eyes crossed his. "The Sorting will now begin, shortly followed by our feast. I wish luck to all of our first-years. Without further delay, I present, the Sorting Hat!"

There were gasps amongst the first years- including a "I knew Frerin was bluffing!" that most likely came from Dis- as the Sorting Hat's fabric rippled. Two folds similar to slitted eyes appeared and another rip across its fabric. A mouth. As if that wasn't strange enough, the Hat began to sing. Bilbo could hardly process the words, feeling himself gawk at the Hat. 

It was moving. Singing. What was it going to-

Oh. 

Oh, there was no way he was putting that on his head!

 

* * * 

 

Bilbo was one of the first to be called, which was odd since he had specifically remembered his mother putting him down as 'Bilbo Took.' Yet the name 'Bilbo Baggins' was called. There was a moment of silence, his heart beating loudly in his chest, where students looking every direction. Some of the older students whispered. 

_Squib._

The word echoed across his mind. His father wasn't known for being a successful banker in Hogwarts. He was known as the Squib disowned from a- what was it? Pure family. Something like that. His father had never liked to talk about it. 

"My apologies, Bilbo _Took_. I misread. Took, Bilbo," said Elrond with an awkward cough, staring at the long roll of parchment as if the words had scrambled before his very eyes. 

Bilbo's legs were shaking as he walked up to the stool. It felt like Bofur and Dis were still patting him on his back encouragingly. He passed the table with the green snake crest. The students stared at him, some pityingly and some with outright curiosity. A handsome young boy with dark hair and a sharp nose looked at him with suspiciously squinted eyes, his arms crossed. 

"You can sit down now, Mr. Took," Elrond said quietly, the hat in his hands. 

The first-year nodded mutely and sat on the creaking stool, his dark hands twisting on his tie nervously. The hat was placed on his head, the fabric surprisingly soft, and it went so low it covered his eyes. His clammy hands held the brim up and he jumped as it let out a loud, "Ah!"

"Another Baggins, eh?" it said and there were faint giggles across the hall. He noticed the Slytherin boy had a small smile; he looked at the first years, sending an encouraging nod towards Dis who waved back. She stuck her tongue out at a similar looking second-year in the Ravenclaw table. 

"The last Baggins was placed into Slytherin. His family house, of course. All Bagginses go to Slytherin. His terms were cut short, unfortunately..." the Hat trailed off, its voice with noticeable disappointment. "Bright young lad. Good to see he married." 

"Uh-"

"Now, let's see where to put you!" the Hat said excitedly. 

 

* * * 

 

"Oh, for goodness' sake, boy, make up your mind!" the Sorting Hat snapped. 

There was only one chuckle in the Hall, and that was Galadriel's. The rest of the students and faculty were incredibly bored. Even the ghosts, which had startled Bilbo with their late appearance (the Hat had plopped right off his head), looked as if they'd rather die again. 

Fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes. Why on earth was it taking so long?

"It's taking so long because you're too difficult!" grumbled the Hat. "Too bright of a mind, too much courage, too much cunning, and too much loyalty! It is far too difficult!"

"Brave," burst out Bilbo in a frantic whisper. God, he was feeling so sick at everyone watching him. "My mother is brave."

The Sorting Hat was silent. Until-

"What was her name?"

"Belladonna Maria Took," he whispered. An image of his mother smiling at him came across his mind. The thought of her made him smile slightly. 

The Hat harrumphed. "A Muggle then. I don't recall sorting her." Muggle. It said the word so.. insultingly. 

"A Muggle?" Bilbo couldn't help but snap angrily. He gulped as the students raised their eyebrows at his outburst. "Pardon me," he hissed, "but my mother isn't just any Muggle! And to say Muggle like it's a curse word is downright- it's- it's just plain rude and you should be ashamed of yourself!" 

Oh, he wasn't done. Belladonna had liked to say once her son got worked up enough, there was no stopping him. Like that time Lobelia had stolen his animal crackers and he had given her a stern lecture lasting half an hour. They had been seven, then. 

"You know who else were Muggles? Martin Luther King, Jr! Abigail Adams! Frida Kahlo! Leonardo Da Vinci, Nelson Mandela, Harriet Tubman, Mae Jemison, and Edgar Allen Poe." The Hat made a sound like he would like to argue that some of the names he listed were magical. 

"Just because someone is a Muggle doesn't mean they're lower or more- more stupid than wizards!" He tried to calm his breathing, crossing his arms and glaring cross eyed at the large hat on his head. "So- so, that's that!"

The Hat was silent for a few seconds before screeching, "GRYFFINDOR!" so loudly that Bilbo fell right off his chair again and the students all jumped. The table with the red banner erupted in cheers, the clapping so loud it made Bilbo's ears ache. 

His expression could only be described as gobsmacked as Elrond lifted the hat off his head. He stumbled off to the table, a burly second year with bushy dark hair and torn knuckles taking his shoulders. He lifted Bilbo's arm in the air and the Gryffindors screamed with laughter and cheers. 

Dwalin laughed and the dark haired Slytherin boy mock-gared at him, a smile cracking through. He looked around furtively before giving a thumbs-up. 

"WE GOT THE HAT-STOPPER!" they mocked the other tables until Galadriel quieted them down. 

Hat-Stopper. What on earth did that mean?

**Author's Note:**

> There are some racial changes in this, if you hadn't noticed. If any of this is written incorrectly or offensively, please call me out on my shit.


End file.
